As I started searching for a gaited horse for CTR, my mind has been on Finny. A lot. Especially after I looked at Tennessee Walking Horses 2 weekends ago. Especially after I looked at a friend’s young Foxtrotter and rode another friend’s 2 Foxtrotters. Especially after I went to SE Missouri this past weekend, 7 hours away, to look at some more Foxtrotters. But especially after I rode Starlet to the field on Monday.
That was harder than I thought it would be. Today I am going to ride her to the field ago. I think it will go easier. My mind is on a replacement horse, and I’m feeling down. I really don’t want to replace Finny. I’m making myself look at other horses. I have to give some other horses a chance.
I know, as I have been on these gaited horses the past 2 weeks, I have enjoyed it. I love their forward movement. I love how they cover the ground. I love their willingness. I know I have to keep looking at horses. I will make myself look at horses.
It’s just so overwhelming sometimes. To make all of these contacts. To travel and look at these horses. To keep searching for “the” horse. To keep talking about it. This should be a fun, enjoyable time, but I just want it to be done.
Sally Swift, Centered Riding organizer, said, “Life is a Journey”. This is all about life. I guess life goes on. I guess I’ll keep looking. I’ll try to enjoy the search.
I just want a horse to continue the journey with. I thought I had the one, and now he is gone. I thought Finny would have been with me the next 10 or 20 years, to continue learning together, and to continue teaching others with. I am really starting to miss what should have been, and what I don’t have.
I wonder what Sally Swift would tell me? Maybe to keep riding.
I guess I better keep riding. That will probably make me feel better. Come along on the ride with me.
.JPG)
4 comments:
Try to not have your mind think of a new horse as a replacement horse. You can not "replace" Finny. Look for a horse to add to your family, not one to replace him. It will be tough to not compare things, and have Finny on your mind while looking at horses. That is normal. The horse was very special to you, and part of your family. I had a difficult time when I lost my gelding that we had previous to Hank in a freak pasture accident. It took awhile for me to not compare the two, but find the things in Hank, that made him special in his own way.
Don't pressure youself to find a horse quickly. Keep looking, and I bet the right one will come along and you will KNOW it is the horse that is to take you thorugh your next journey with horses.
Thx for the insight, Jonni. You would think that after 20 years in horses, and 16 years in the horse business, you would think this would be easier. But it isn't and maybe that is why it is so hard for me. I've sold horses that I have liked, I've had horses get hurt, and I've had other horses die. I moved on. There were always horses to ride. But there were none that only I alone rode and competed with. Maybe that is the difference. My kids were older and no one else rode or trained on Finny except me. It's really throwing me for a loop because I thought it would get easier, not harder, with time. I did not ride this afternoon. I just couldn't make myself go out and ride. This reminds me of a time when my daughter got hurt, was in IC for a few days, and in the hospital for a week. I was fine after I knew she would be heal, she just needed time to get better. She came home at the end of a week's stay in the hospital, but at the end of the 2nd week, and I remind you, she was fine and getting better, it hit me like a fist in the gut that she could have gotten really hurt. I had a bad moment/day thinking of that. This feels like the same type of feeling. I got over this feeling about my daughter getting hurt, I just don't remember how long it took before I quit feeling guilty or upset about the incident. I know I shouldn't compare other horses to Finny, but I don't think that will be possible for awhile. I'm looking at horses now but I won't buy one if it doesn't feel right. I just hope I will know that it is the right horse when the right horse comes along.
This is such a hard time. I think looking for a new horse companion ought to be joyous, but so often it is not - I just want to say yay for gaited horses and their temperaments, based on my own very limited experience. Best wishes in this transition time, such a difficult one.
Flying Lily, I don't have any experience with gaited horses, either, except for what I have written about this week, and watching my friend compete for 2 years on her Foxtrotter. I think gaited horses come in with better P&R's and that is the only reason I have thought about competing with one. You're right, this should be an exciting time for me, looking for a new horse. And I have been excited as I have ridden the few horses that I have tried. I guess I am just feeling down as I think about it. Thanks for understanding.
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