"Do you have a Golden Horse"

Horse listening posted this today:


http://horselistening.com/2014/04/06/why-everyone-needs-a-golden-horse-a-poem/


 


“Do you have a Golden Horse? You can spot him from a mile away.


He is “golden” because of his heart of gold. This is the horse that takes care of you even more than you take care of him. You know you can rely on him to not spook, not get unnerved and let you enjoy what it was you set out to do. In fact, it seem that he  enjoys his job even more than you do! 


If you have a Golden Horse, you will soon realize how lucky you are. You will never want to part with him. Because as you learn and grow through his graciousness, you realize how much you are benefiting from him, and how much he is giving you. Every ride becomes a gift and every workout is easy because of his willing nature. You become the rider of your dreams because he lets you!


Although that calm generosity can be learned by good training, upkeep and handling, some horses are just “born that way.” So, for all the Golden Horses out there, here is a poem of gratitude.”


 


(by the Horse Listener)


The Golden Horse


 


Interested ears forward pricked,


patiently waiting through soft velvety nose-kisses,


the Golden Horse 


loves the grooming attention;


two hours of brushing, polishing and wiping


with nary a fuss but more like a sweet relaxation


reminiscent of a day at the spa.


 


Solidly standing for the mount,


quietly ambling the first strides


into 100% effort.


Team player to the point


Of two becoming one.


 


Reciprocal listening, flickering ears back and forth,


gives and takes and loose flowing backs,


seamless communication seemingly telepathic,


mindreading  aids and signals, snorts and strides,


bounces and swings -


there is no better synergy 


than when two combine.


 


Patiently waiting through your confusion,


Kindly caring through less-than-perfect risk-taking,


he is the ultimate teacher


in your quest to grow.


 


One of a kind.

OK… now granted… not every horse acts this way with his owner… but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a connection. If you ride your horse, and care for your horse, there is a connection!

My Golden Horses.... when I was a child, I had Jennifer, my welsh cross pony for many years. 18 years ago, Starlet was one of my first foals I raised. 7 years ago, Finny was my 1st competition horse. Last year, Bonita bonded with me as I rode her. Now I have Allie who I feel a strong connection with.” 

This poem struck a nerve.

I've had a few "Heart" horses during different times of my life.... my youth, one of the first foals I raised, my first horse I rode a lot after the kids got done showing, now during my competition years. I think we need to share our heart with many horses... to get over "horse ache". I could only get over Finny after I knew I had to share my heart with another horse.... and Rushcreek Allie seems to be doing that with her quiet and gentle way with me...

 “Caring” yes, I care for my horse…. And I know my horse cares enough for me to take care of both of us when times get tough.   

Yes, my horse is a teacher…. I learn so much from all my horses…. As they teach me to share my heart.  My “heart” horses teach me how unselfish they are.  They give willingly.   

“He is “golden” because of his heart of gold. This is the horse that takes care of you even more than you take care of him.”   

Finny was my horse that had a heart of gold.  I wished I could say they he still has a heart of gold, but he has been gone for 4 years now.  He took care of me more than I took care of him, as he completed a CTR then went down with a fatal colic the minute I stepped off of him, with no prior notice.  I will always be sad/sorry/angry/anguish/angry with myself/hurt/sadden/ and every emotion you can think you could have when your horse/best riding partner/the one who knows you/ and the one who you know… dies.  It is a very sad time of your life. It took me 2 years to get over him, and another year to understand it, and another year to realize this happens to a lot of horses… BUT I will never understand why this tragic death had to happen to Finny.  He was a wonderful horse and would have gone on to teach a lot of kids how to ride.  I’ll always be sad about the way he had to die.  That makes me so sad.  And it always will.

But I came to the realization that I couldn’t keep the love of horses buried.  I needed to keep the love alive.  What horse could I love?  Do I love all the horses I have equally?  Would that take too much of my energy?  My heart?

“One of a Kind”

There are many horses that are one of a kind.  Do they all become our heart horse No.  But the ones that do… they are one of a kind.

“It sure felt good to be on a horse”

“It sure felt good to be on a horse”. That was my first thought, and the comment I texted my hubby, when I rode last week.  It’s been a long winter for me, and this was just my 2^nd ride of the year.  Compared to last year, I had many more rides in, with almost 100 miles recorded by now.  Not so this year, but the minute I rode off on Bonita, while ponying Allie, I couldn’t believe how great it felt!  I couldn’t believe I’ve waited so long to ride this winter/early spring.

 

Most winters, I’ve given the horses a rest Jan and Feb.  I start consistent riding from March on, as the days get warmer…. usually.  Last year, riding for the Horsetrailriders Distance Derby, I started riding in January and rode every day that I was home, and the weather cooperated.  This year, March is here, 1^st day of spring came and went, we’ve had some near 70 degree days, and I still didn’t get extra days of riding in.  But I did take the time to just be with the horses during chore time, moving among them, petting or rubbing on some of them, standing quietly by the ones that just want the closeness.

 

With my mom passing away last Oct, and hubby having some health issues this winter and recovering from a recent surgery, life with horses not only got slowed down, but got put on hold.  Tiredness doesn’t always have to be physical.  I think mental strain/anguish/stress makes you so much more tired and drains what energy is left over from the day.  I didn’t have any problem sitting and doing nothing.  I guess it was my body’s way of telling me that I’m not ready to be as busy as I was last year.  I felt the need to take the time to rejuvenate.  I knew I not only had to build up my energy, but also my desire to want to do more with the horses.

 

A mid-winter vacation is always welcomed.  Sun and warmth does wonders for the mind and body.  So does spring sun and warmth!  I love to hear the birds singing.   I love to see green grass.  I’m ready to see the trees bud up and leaves start to come out.  I’ve had my winter rest.  I’m really ready for the tans and browns and grey tones of winter to change into the greens and yellows and reds and oranges and blues of spring grass and flowers.  I love flowers and taking photos of them, especially roses.  Maybe I’ll plant more perennials this year.  I’m starting to feel the growth of spring in my body and mind and soul.  I’m starting to see the true colors of spring again.

 

Spring is here.  Hubby and I just had our 33^rd Anniversary.  We have 2 small grandsons that are spending the night tonight and next weekend, we’ll see our 2 young granddaughters.  Then I’ll be ready to start riding, and working young horses, and petting on yearlings, and watching the broodmares.  I’m starting to get excited about seeing this year’s foal crop come this summer!

 

Just writing this makes me want spring even more.  I’m ready to get back into the saddle.  Watch out… the ride is on. Hope you are able to get back on the trails too.  And as always, “Embrace the Journey!”

Thankful for....

I’ve had another Thanksgiving meal today, with Jacob and Amber, almost 4 year old Caden, and 21 month old Tyler.  For thanksgiving, we were in CO with Sara, Jake, soon to be 4 year old Makenzie and 10 day old Kaytlyn.  Today, Kaytlyn is a month old already!  Today, we had a fun time with her cousins.  Today, we had our Thanksgiving meal here.  This is a great reminder that Thanksgiving can be any day.  This is a great reminder that any holiday, or special event, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc, can be celebrated on any day.

Today’s thoughts are on what we should be thankful for are.  I am so thankful for my 4 grandchildren and their health.  For Makenzie and her outgoing ways and ambition and energy.  For Caden and his quiet ways of figuring things out and wanting to know if we can play with him.  For Tyler’s laughter, his soft side, his tenderness, and not wanting his feelings hurt.  And little Kaytlyn, so young, so do we really know her personality?  But she is so calm, so peaceful, so content.  She teaches us a valuable lesson.  I am so thankful for all my family, my children, my SIL and my DIL, and my grandchildren.

Then there are our horses.  They teach us so much! 

The shake of their heads.  The stance.  The demeanor.  How, and why, they like, and how they don’t like certain horses.  And do you figure out the why?  I have on most of the horses, and then there is always a surprise.

Starlet, the boss.  Fought with Doc, a gelding who was gelded as a 12 year old.  They did not like each other for 3 or 4 years.  Now this year, they stand close to each other.  I think still figuring who is the ultimate boss.

Shaggy who isn’t a threat to any horse and every horse likes him.  From birth to 9 years.  No one fights with him.

Chick who could be a nasty show mare, but with a calm influence, shows well.  But she hates to be separated from her pasture mates.  And let’s all horses around her know that! 

The quiet yearlings who turn into monsters when new young horses enter their space.

The old horses who accept anything, some who move away from nasty horses and some who put younger horses in their place.

And the young horse who is bossy, pushy, fights with everyone and then meets their match with an older, mature, confident, mare or gelding, and teaches a valuable lesson.

This is most of my herd.  What is your’s like?

“Embrace the Journey!”

And Embrace your Horse’s Journey!

Listen When Your Horse Talks

            Where did the week go?  I ended up not doing much, staying inside since last weekend’s snow storm, and this week in the teens and 20's. And I have been healing!  I ended up having a sore leg all week, after hurting it the previous week.

            I should have Listened to my horse. We have all heard this.  This is natural horsemanship.  “Read your horse”.  I read my horse last week.  I knew he was ansy.  And so were the other horses due to neighbors target shooting around us, even though that was at least ½ mile away.  I needed to “listen” to my horse” better.

            We all read our horses.  We know what ears pinned back means.  We know the “look” that dominant horse gives younger horses, and that they should move, and we know what happens when
they don’t move.

Almost 2 weeks ago, last Tuesday, I shouldn't have rushed Duke, as all the horses were a little goosey because people all around us were shooting. So I lunged him and got on him, but he was still goosey. I worked him in the outdoor arena for about 15 min then decided to take some P&V out of him and go down and up the terraces ONE time. We went down ok, but coming up, he stretched his neck out, turned quick and left out a gigantic buck and kick out. So I'm hanging 1/2 off the side, Duke stopped, and I figured I'd just finish dropping off.  I landed, I think I startled Duke and he jumped again, coming down on the very edge of my inside calf. I had to hold on to the reins, as he has only been gelded for 2 months, and I could not run the risk of him loose. It hurt, but I got up, Duke stood still and I walked him to the barn and put him away.

I did chores, Wed am woke up sore and I limped around. Wed I rode duke, and he was perfect.  I had good rides on him Wed-Fri!!! I lunged him a lot on Wed and he must have figured he better be good the rest of the week.

I was walking fine until last Sunday, when I could barely put weight on my leg first thing in the am. The previous 4 days, I had ice on it in the mornings, then wrapped it and went outside Wed thru Sat. Sun, I couldn’t stand on it, and I started some heat and wrapping it if I had to walk a lot. Today, I've sat on my butt all week and kept heat on it, wrapping it when Tom came home to help me feed at nights.

It's been a long time since I've had a horse bruise, and I guess I was due. Hubby said it was a good thing my legs are tanned or it would look ugly. Actually, I don't think the skin has started bruising there, only behind my knee and down at my ankle.

I finally went to the Dr on Thursday, since friends were concerned about the area having a blood clot.  After an ultrasound on the muscle, it just reviled a fluid filled area! Really? I knew that!

 This actully doesn't look so bad in the mornings, but by evenings, my leg is more swollen and feeling tight.

Now, Sunday, almost 2 weeks later, I am walking so much better than last Sunday.  The leg swelling has gone down a little.  The bruising is leaving my foot.  I’m walking fine but keeping a wrap on my leg when I go outside.  I wonder how long the swelling will last?

I’ve learned my lesson.  Next time, I’ll listen to my horse.

Sunsets on the Beach

The water is so blue and calm.

A lone sailboat.

The color of the sunset is starting to show.

Hubby and I enjoying the last few colors of the sunset.



Give Yourself Rest Time

January 20-22, 2012

Give Yourself Rest Time

                After a week of exercising, I took last weekend off.  Last week, Hubby and I walked 3 miles each day for 5 days, as well as spending some time on the elliptical and weight machines.  We worked on building up leg muscles, arm and shoulder strength, and overall endurance.  By Friday, our bodies were feeling a little sore.  We knew we were working muscles we haven’t been working during regular chore time.

                It was time to give our muscles rest instead of continually working them. We felt the tightness in our legs and a little stiffness in our shoulders.  Time off allows the muscles to relax without needed to take an aspirin.  I feel if you take a medicine because you are sore, you are feeling better but putting a band-aid on the soreness and not allowing your muscles to heal.

                I think horses go through the same thing.  We ride them too much before they are conditioned and they become sore.  We continue to ride without time off.  Do they have a chance to rest sore muscles?

                I’m sure soreness in our own bodies may have meant that we did a little too much too soon.  This week, I’m doing the same amount of walking and elliptical, but I’ve decreased the amounts on the weight machines by a small amount.  I’ve taken away some of the strain.  My shoulders feel better.

                With horses, slow conditioning is better, adding distance as the horse gets into shape, then adding more speed as each distance level.  I feel that is the way I’m conditioning myself.  Now, I’ll stay at the level that I’m at and slowly add distance on the elliptical and slowly add weights each week on the machines.

                The point is to stay healthy, and keep our horses healthy and sound.  It is amazing how strong you can get with a little time of structured exercise.  I’m thinking the same for our horses.  Develop a structured plan of conditioning to keep your horse moving on down the trail or in the arena.

New Year Thoughts

Duke as a 3 year old, he's 15 now. I'll post more about him tomorrow. 

           I have made some promises to myself for the year.  The first was to ride as many days as I could, weather permitting.  I’ve yet to start riding, but the sun is out and it’s going to be a beautiful day.  I’m riding today!  I know others rode on New Year’s and the day after, but the wind was terrible on New Year’s and I had family plans the next day. Then yesterday was pleasant, but a little chilly, and I was just too tired to do too much.  I did almost nothing, even though I tried. I was just tired from moving the clothing and tack back home after closing the store for holiday shoppers on Saturday. We traveled to CO twice for the holidays, which I loved. I worked 6 days a week  the first 2 weeks of Dec, we had 2 grandchildren birthdays, and yesterday was my first day I was home alone. I was ready to do nothing. I did a few things, but it didn’t account for much.  Today, I’m in overdrive, as I’m doing household expenses, store expenses and reports, blogging, bills, planning CTR’s and vacations, drinking coffee, and just feeling better!

Second, I want to exercise/yoga/pilates/ whatever more this year.  I really don’t care what exercise, but something more than horse chores.  The middle age “middle” is beginning to happen and I don’t like it. I’ve been wanting to get an elliptical machine, as that helps movement in all the joints, which goes hand in hand with my Centered Riding. I’ve yet to start exercising this year, but I did put a week in at the gym before Christmas. I love Groupons and Living Social coupons. I got a membership for me and my hubby, only paying $19 each for unlimited usage.  It will get expensive if we don’t start using it again. I have 10 more days left so I better start!

            Third, I want to work on being more gracious.  You know, the kind of lady that just smiles and is gracious to people around her, no matter what the situation or environment.  She smiles, says things are fine or welcome, takes you by the hand, and makes you feel welcomed.  Well, I’ve only seen this done well in movies, but that is the type of person that I want to be.  No matter what happens to me or around me, I smile and say, well, everything is going to be ok, or so nice of you to be here too, or everything will work out. And things usually are fine or work out, but it’s nice to have someone nice around you.  So I’m not sure how I’ll do but at least it’s a thought in my head.  And maybe, if I stop and think, that thought will pop out and put some nice words in my head to say.  Here’s hoping, anyways!  LOL

            And 4^th, I want to get back to blogging every day.  Even if it’s just hello and what are you doing?  Or put across an inspirational saying that I came across on Facebook, or start reading the bible or other inspirational/personal growth books more and put out a saying.  Just something.  I enjoy doing this blogging as it gets my thoughts out of my head to make room for all of those nice sayings that I’m suppose to have.  I found that as I worked on my chat, Horses Are Our Lives, I blogged less. I want to incorporate the 2, and what we talk about on the chat, I’ll blog more about it.  Like right now, we’ve gone through the Centered Riding Book 1, each chapter at a time.  I’ve outlined the chapter, gave my thoughts, and others posted their thoughts to discuss. I’ve decided to post each chapter and thoughts here too, starting next week, and go through Books 1 and 2. If I talk about the exercises, by the time spring rolls around, we will know them, understand them, and ready to implement them and practice the while we ride.

So I missed blogging each day already, but I’ve made up for it today. 

Sunday, Jan 1.  Happy New Years. We had pork and sauerkraut for supper.  This is our traditional Pennsylvanian good luck meal.  Friends came for New Years Eve, keeping us up until 2:30!  LOL  The kids and mom stayed over and Hubby cooked us scrapple, hash browns and egg, ham and cheese omelet for breakfast.  Friends left, and hubby and I finished watching a movie, as it was too late to go to church.  I need to rest a little longer, but then watched the 2^nd movie, Last of the Dogmen.  I just love that movie!  I was feeling really tired, but horse water tanks needed filled, and horses needed to be grained.  I made myself go outside to help. And I’m so glad I did. I felt so much better once I was in the nice, crisp cool weather.

Monday, Jan 2.  Still a holiday. Family came to watch the Penn State Football Bowl game.  First, they helped me unpack some of the trailer, and we brought in all the hanging clothes that were left over from the store.  My basement looks like a store now!  We snacked on a meat and cheese tray and a veggie tray.  We had pork sandwiches for supper. And then it was time for showers and to relax. The days go by too fast sometimes.

Tuesday, Jan 3.  My first day home alone in a long time.  And I was tired.  I’ve already talked about that. I should have just laid down on the couch and read a book and napped (which I never do, except for Sundays when the weather is terrible out). I did a few things, but nothing worthwhile blogging about. LOL  Hubby started a new job, so the highlight of my day was hearing how excited he was talking about what he will do.  And he brought Chinese take-out home for dinner, and that made the day better.

Today, Jan 4^th.  I’ve started my blogging promise.  I’ve starting thinking about how and what to say to be gracious.  I’ve made the promise to ride this afternoon.  And I’m to meet hubby after 5 to go exercise. The day is off to a great start. I hope the sun shines all winter!

I've pictured Duke above. I plan on riding him a lot more this year. I'll post about him tomorrow. Have a great day everyone!

When a Friend Hurts Because They Lost a Horse

This is an email that I just sent to a friend, because she lost a special horse:

I just read on HT's that you are having a hard time and I am so, so sorry for your sorrow. Right now, tears are streaming down my face as I think about how much your heart hurts, and as I think about Finny.  All I can say is that you will hurt for a long time, so cry as often as you can.

You will hurt for a long time and I think everyone needs something different to get over this hurt. I can't get over all the pain, and every time I think about this, my chest tightens, and there is a big lump in my throat, and my eyes water or there are tears. Finny is gone over 2 years now. And it hurts. Very much.

And it's ok to hurt, and to cry. And only you will know when it's time to say...   I need to get over this and move on. Pets die. Horses die. People die. We all know this. But we hurt so much when we lose those special ones. I've just now told myself to move on and get a horse who will make me happy. I've just started looking at the rest of my own horses differently, as they do make me smile now.

I think I'll always be sad because Finny died. And now tears are really streaming down my face. My heart hurts so much because he is gone. I know how much your heart hurts. and I'm so, so sorry that you have to go through this pain.

But God gives us these special horses for a reason, and then he takes them home to be in his special stable. I'm praying that the angels are riding Finny and Red and Ginger, and all the others who have gone before them, and are enjoying them very much.

Maybe a little girl is up in Heaven, with that special horse that she has always wanted. And now I'm smiling, and my heart doesn't hurt. I'm smiling as I see Finny loping across those heavenly clouds with a little girl on his back, and she is laughing. Maybe you can have a special thought of Red in Heaven with a new special owner.

Please call if you ever need to. Many of us understand. We will all go through this because there are many of us with a special horse who have left us. 

Now as I think more about this, this is what has helped me to get over Finny:

Maybe what I am going through will help someone else.  God has put this hurt in my heart and soul for a reason, and I pray that I can help someone else.  Why else would we hurt so much?

There are many of us that hurt like this when we lose our special horse.  That really hasn't helped me to get over the pain, just to realize that many others understand the pain.

God wouldn't want me have this sorrow forever and to not share my love of horses and of riding by not riding.  And by not being excited about horses.  This is what is helping me the most.  God would want me to move on and to keep my love of horses alive.

The movie, The Christmas Hope, is on and it's about a mother and father who lost their son 2 years ago (in the movie). The Grandmother just told the mother that she can choose joy or despair, and to choose joy.  Maybe that is what I am going through, and everyone else who has lost a horse.  We need to choose how we feel.  And all at once, I don't feel sad, and I don't have tears, and all I'm hearing on the tv is to have joy.

There are many angels around us.  God speaks to us in so many different ways.  It's been 2 years since hubby and I have gone to church regularly (and not because of Finny).  We have a deep belief.  Today we went to church.  And now God is speaking to me through this friend and through this movie.

All I know is it is time to move on, to choose to love horses, to choose to ride, to choose to help others learn.  That is what I need to do.  I think Finny would want me to keep riding, even if it isn't him.  He would want me to continue where we ended.

I had the thought the other day that I will continue what Finny and I were doing, and take that training and move on to the next young horses.  I will work with other horses with what I've learned from riding Finny, but more importantly, what Finny has taught me.

God is with us and guiding us through our sorrow.  He will show us the way out and the way to happiness, to contentment, and to peace.

May the spirit of the Christmas Season be with you ... forever.

You Know You're a Horse Person When

Skipa and Starlet, 1996



I called someone's calves their cannon bones. LOL

What else have you said or done, besides the common clucking to get someone to move over, saying whoa to stop, or I say "quit" when I want someone to stop doing something.

What have you done, said or heard?

Come on over to my chat,
http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/horsesareourlives/

and share, discuss, and laugh over our one liners!

I'm also reading and discussing some books this winter on the chat.  I'm a Center Riding Level 1 instructor, trying to move up to Level 2. We are reading and discussing Book 1, and after Christmas, I will start Book 2.

We are also reading Tug of War, Classical vs Modern Dressage.  I hope to go through Jane Savoies Dressage 101, which is a long book.

There are other books on my list, that I hope to get through this winter.

Bloggers Block

I feel like I’m in a Bloggers Block, just like writers get into a writer’s block.  I just haven’t felt like writing my thoughts down like I have since before I started the blog. Before, something was inside me that needed to get out. But now, I’m not sure where that feeling went.

After Finny died, more than 2 years ago now, I really had to write about that, his death, the why, my pain, my guilt.  I am still so sad when I think about him, and how he died. It just breaks my heart that he died such a painful death due to colic. I wouldn’t wish that on any animal. And it had to happen to a horse that meant so much to me.  

Isn’t it always the case that you realize how much or how deep those feelings are once something is gone?  I don’t think I took him for granted. I know I didn’t. I enjoyed riding him so very much! I just rode him, and enjoyed the ride. I enjoyed him!  I realized that he wasn’t a happy camper at the competitions, but his ears were always perked when we rode the fields. I was on my last competitive ride with him, he would have been ridden for fun after that next day.

The whys will always be there.  Why did he have to be the one to die?  He was my baby, the orphan I saved and raised. The little pot who turned into an awesome mover.  He wanted to live when he was orphaned at a month old. He had the desire to live. He took himself out of the pasture to the stall to eat, and he took himself back to the pasture, where the other mares and babies were, to be with them.  He always went first to the water tank and drank. He knew how to survive. Yet, he couldn’t survive this horrible colic.

The guilt and the whys have taken the fun out of riding for me for more than 2 years.  The foals I had this year were a great distraction, and brought back some of the old feelings for me.  The desires are returning.  Riding Shaggy this past year has helped too, as he is such a quiet, comforting soul. But riding him always makes me feel that I should be riding Finny, and I feel that I’m holding something back. But these foals make me think of Starlet, who is one of the mothers. Starlet was one of my first foals that I raised and trained, and who is a favorite of mine.  Having the foals help.

I’ve had a few meltdowns this past year. I guess, who doesn’t, with any portion of their lives when there are troubles?

After a year of thinking, holding it all in, the guilt had to come out. And this is 2 years out! First time, I thought I was over losing him, after the first year’s anniversary date, and I wasn’t. Then I thought I was doing fine, and it came out 6 months later.  The only thing I can say, after each meltdown, is that I felt better after it was all over.  Maybe everything hurtful that was in me just boiled out, and needed to.

I know people lose loved ones. And children.  And this can’t begin to relate to those losses on the same level. But what I felt, and still feeling, is such a deep loss that I can only relate it to losing a loved one. I’ve lost a dear grandmother, and my husband has lost a brother and a father. But this loss feels so different and hurts so much and I don’t know why.

All I know is that I’m ready to ride again.  And ride for fun.   And to blog about my rides.  I can only do this when I’m having fun with my rides.  Which I have had with Shaggy,  working with Duster, my 3 year old, and playing with these 2 new babies. But the pain is still there, and I’m ready for it to be gone.  I’m ready to ride without feeling guilty, and being sad when I think about Finny. I want to think about him with happy memories, and I do, but I want the sadness to be gone.

Because some days, I just can’t stand feeling this sad all the time.   For those of you who have gone through this, HOW do you ever get over it?  When will the tears stop? When did you start having fun with horses again?  When did you ride and have fun and not wish that you were riding your other horse?

I’m going to be getting a different competition horse soon. I’m going to be riding Duke at lessons. I’m going to be taking Shaggy to my Centered Riding Clinics. I’m going to be starting Duster’s training. I’m going to begin lunging the soon-to-be yearling’s, Dove and Fawn, next year.  Other horses are dear to me and are loved. And maybe this is the start to feeling totally happy again. Letting the horses in, and the love out, of the heart.

I want the acceptance. Without sadness. How do you get there? I don’t feel as guilty anymore. Maybe that is a start too. But I’m still sad, and that hurts that I’m still so sad that Finny is gone. I don’t want to be sad every time I think about him. So I don’t think about him, and I don’t want to do that either.

Like I told a friend… I just didn’t want him to die that way.

Like I told a friend just yesterday … I felt like I was coming out of a loss, and ready to move on, and excited about that. But then these sad feelings return, because I don’t want to forget Finny, I don’t want to replace him, but I want to move on. I sure hope I do. I need to move on. And with happy, content memories and feelings about Finny!

And this had nothing to do with the topic, except that I haven’t felt like writing. Until now. And now, every time I write about Finny, my heart doesn’t hurt so much. Maybe I just need to write more so my heart hurts less.

I’ve had other horses die. This isn’t the first, and it won’t be the last. It’s just time to move on. I made another step the other day… I emailed someone about the jewelry they make with horse hair. I guess it’s time. I’m also looking more seriously for that next endurance horse. I’ve not done endurance yet, so this is a different path that I’m taking.  Something different.

Thanks for reading and being there. Thanks for your thoughts and how you felt when you went through this.

Daily Inspirations

I recently found these inspirations. We can all probably relate to the first one. To me, it means going after that dream!


“Do you ever feel like there are major obstacles in your path to fulfilling your destiny? Maybe you don’t see how you could ever accomplish your dreams, or how you can get well, or how a legal situation will ever get resolved. Maybe the negative thoughts are telling you “It’s over. Just accept it. It’s never going to get any better.” But my encouragement to you is that God is a faithful God! He’s called the Author and the Finisher of our faith. God will never start something that He cannot finish. That promise He put in your heart—that you’re going to be healed, that you’re coming out of debt, that your family will be restored—God has every intention of bringing those promises to pass.

When God put the dream in your heart, He already had a completion date. He can already see it done. You may not see how it can happen. It may be taking a long time. All the odds are against you. But if you’ll just keep believing, keep praying, and keep being your best, then God promises He is going to finish what He started in you!”

God put the dream in your heart! That is so refreshing to read! There is a reason that I feel a certain way. God put my thoughts there. It always surprises me though, that people don’t appreciate how I think, what I say, what I do, etc, etc. LOL If God wants me to be this type of person, why can’t people see that, see God in me, and just accept that! I really do try to be a good person. Maybe I need to watch my thoughts and watch my words. Maybe it’s not what is said, but maybe how it is said. Or maybe it’s what is not said.

But I regress. To get back to dreams! Keep believing. Because God will finish what he started IN you! I’ve started Yoga for stretching and for inner peace. But this saying also brings me that peace!

And another inspiration:

"A person should set his goals as early as he can and devote all his energy and talent to getting there.  With enough effort, he may achieve it.  Or he may find something that is even more rewarding.  But in the end, no matter what the outcome, He will know that he has been alive. Walt Disney"


So not only does God give us those dreams in our heart, he gives us goals to achieve. But it is up to me, to you, to all of us, to give the appropriate energy and work to achieve those dreams, to achieve those goals, to find what makes us happy.

And another inspiration:

“It’s time now to let go of the past

And embrace all that awaits you.”

Now is the time to appreciate all that we had in the past and be thankful for what the past has showed us and has taught us. We are the person we are today because of the past. Now it’s time to move on and become a better person. Let go of all those doubts and bad moments. Let go of how things used to be, of how you used to do things, and develop new ways. Show people through your actions and words that you have changed.

Look forward to the future. What is out there waiting for you? Go after those dreams. Set those goals and work with effort, towards them. But most important, do what you are meant to do. Do what you enjoy and what builds you up. Have people who appreciate you and help to build you up. Let go of all others.

I’m not sure I can let go of everything from the past, especially my pets and horses. They made me who I am today. But I will let go of the pain and put the memories in my heart, and rejoice that I have had them in my life.

As I look out at the morning sun, shining bright, warming the ground, I also feel that warmth in my heart. I need to move forward. I need to see what else is out there for me. I’m looking forward to the challenges that I will encounter to fulfill my dreams. The dreams that God put into my heart. And he put them there for a reason, so I must embrace them, and feel that peace that I am searching for.

I’ve always believed that there is a reason for everything! Just like the changing Seasons!

Ecclesiastes 3
King James 2000 Bible

A Time for Everything

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

9 What profit has he that works in that in which he labors?

10 I have seen the task, which God has given to the sons of men to be occupied in it.

11 He has made every thing beautiful in its time: also he has put eternity in men's hearts, so that no man can find out the work that God does from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is the gift of God.

14 I know that, whatsoever God does, it shall be forever: nothing can be added to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God does it, that men should fear before him.

15 That which has been is now; and that which is to be has already been; and God requires that which is past.

16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of justice, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there.

17 I said in my heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time for every purpose and for every work.

18 I said in my heart concerning the condition of the sons of men, that God might reveal them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.

19 For that which befalls the sons of men befalls beasts; the same thing befalls them: as the one dies, so dies the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man has no advantage over a beast: for all is vanity.

20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

21 Who knows the spirit of man that goes upward, and the spirit of the beast that goes downward to the earth?

22 Therefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his lot: for who can bring him to see what shall be after him

Ecclesiastes 3

Fall Days

A few weeks ago, I felt like fall was coming. Everything was still green though. The weather was still hot and humid most days. T-shirt and tank top weather. No shorts, as the little knats and bugs were still biting.

I remember that day. I was mowing grass and you could smell a dryness of grass in the air, not the usual fresh cut grass smell. As I walked through the yard, you could hear the crunch of dry leaves.

Even though it was green everywhere, grass, trees, corn and soybeans, something was different. Then I realized what it was, as I thought to myself that evening, “when did it start getting dark at 8:30?” Days were getting shorter. That is what I sensed.

I think the last humid, slightly hot weekend was Labor Day weekend, over Sept 3-5. We had 90 here, but it wasn’t too humid. I know the Kansas CTR, that I didn’t go to, had 102 on Saturday! A cool front came through from the north, dropping the temps by 20 degrees the next day. What a relief!

Most of the days have been just plain gorgeous the last 3 weeks. We had rain one day last weekend, but I was at a CTR, and we just got misted on.  But riding with friends was awesome!

Coming home last Sunday, I did have rain most of the afternoon though. But most of the days have been in the 70’s, a few nearing 80 and a few staying in the mid 60’s. I’ll take those lower temps, if it means sun!

Then I got busy with “stuff” and didn’t get around to blogging about that. But today’s Sunday Stills challenge is about the “First Signs of Fall”. And I remembered that 2 weeks ago, I felt those changes. Now we are seeing the changes. Crops are brown and harvest has started.

Trees are just starting to change, leaves turning yellow. 2 hours south of here, where I rode at Indian Caves near Shubert, NE yesterday, the change is even more distinct with less green and more color in the trees.


It’s dark before 8 now. We lose a minute of daylight each day. The mornings are cooler. We’ve not been near frost here, even though other parts of the state have been. I think my coolest morning was 39 or 41. Most mornings have been near 50. Today was only 44. The days are getting shorter and cooler.

Have I said how beautiful our weather has been since then? LOL. Lots of sun without the heat makes for beautiful days to be outside. These are the days that I appreciate working for myself. I can set my own schedule. I can take advantage the sunny afternoons to work my horses. We need these type of days before the days keep getting shorter, and colder.
 

A few days ago was the first day of fall. I love the fall the best. Days are beautiful. Air is crisp. Trees are changing colors. (Our trees in the back yard are just starting to get yellow).  The sun still warms the back, even though it is lower in the sky. Days seem brighter without the heat and humidity of the hot summer sun.

I grew up in the Appalachian mountain range of western PA, and the fall is just gorgeous there. I love the forest, the colors of the leaves in the fall, the white blanket of snow on the pine branches, the Mountain Laurel blooming in late spring, and the coolness and dampness you feel when you are under that canopy of leaves in the summer heat.

I know how the wild animals feel in the fall. Squirrels busy hustling, finding and storing nuts. Deer bedding down in deeper grass during the cooler nights. Animals busy during the day, preparing for winter.

The past 3 weeks, I’ve long at those “lists” we made before summer. What needs done before winter? Yet, finding the time to ride a few horses and to start working 2 young horses. That only gives hubby and I half a day to finish maintenance projects and start and finish new projects over the next 1 ½ - 2 months. That seems like a long time, but each day goes faster and faster. Some days, it seems like only chores get done. We stop and clean this area, we stop and put this away, and before we know it, the day is shot.


Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad I have the extra time this year to take care of these tiny projects, well some are not so tiny, and to get re-organized around here. We do need to stop and catch up, and I feel that is what this summer was for us. Those other areas on our “to do” list would be nice to get done, but it isn’t necessary. But if you don’t take care of the little things when they are little, 10 years later, they turn into big projects.


So I feel like those squirrels. Hustling around, doing this and doing that, preparing for winter. The warm, sunny fall days make me want to do these things. I enjoy being busy in this weather. I enjoy working outside in this weather. And it’s a great feeling to see things get accomplished, no matter how small of a job that it was.

But we've taken the time to play with the grandchildren.

playing and cooing with baby Tyler

Caden helping Pop go fix things

Grandma riding with Makenzie and Sara

Makenzie petting her Pody

and cousins Makenie and Caden help Ema and Pop to feed the pigs!

One new thing that we did this spring/summer was to clean a tree area that was too brushy to ever put horses in. A few times over the last 15 years, we thought of fencing it out to put a steer or 2 in to knock the brush down. Well, weather and time and bugs took care of that for us. We had 2 rows of pines in there, but the pine disease killed them. Early this spring, we cut and burned the dead branches. We picked up and burned some fallen branches and brush. We had ½ the fence line strung with wire, and we finished stringing the wire, making another turn out area. Without the trees in there, more grass grew.

Over the summer, the horses spent some time in there, eating the grass and knocking down the brush. I wanted to turn it into a small area to ride and practice some trail maneuvers, eventually using that area to teach my riding students some of the same maneuvers. Hubby and I just walked the area the other day, and it is ready to ride in.

Seeing the results of our hard labor is paying off. Believe me, all those hours of cutting, picking up and burning brush was long and tedious and a strain on the hamstrings. Lol

The other reason I love fall time is that at the end of the day, it’s nice to sit outside with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy that time of relaxation. What a perfect way to end a perfect day.