What should I write about?

What should I write about? I need to get back to talking about horses, but with the cold weather and 15” of snow, horses are not what I’m thinking about right now. Holidays are coming and going. Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is in full swing. And I have the 1st birthdays of 2 grandbabies this month of December.

I am closing one chapter in my life and opening up a bunch more! I tell people that when I grow up, I’ll let them know what I want to be! LOL!

I raised a family of 3 children. I had a Quarter Horse breeding operation. I trained and coached Western Pleasure and English Equitation (Hunt Seat), and Showmanship to QH Youth. I was burned out and didn’t want to do much in the horse world, but a few, honest, sweet kids asked who they would ride if I sold my show horses. I was suckered into continuing lessons by a 5 year old! But I had learned about what type of client I wanted and how much I wanted to work. I wanted the client who came with smiles! And sometimes they brought me cookies.

I became an empty nester when our 3rd child went to college 3 years ago. I started a tack store in Lincoln because I just couldn’t see myself doing all the horse chores and work around the place by myself. Sure, my husband, Tom, helps tremendously, but he also works a full time job that actually takes the time of a job and a half. He enjoys outside work but doesn’t want to do my chores the whole time that he is home. He wants to do mindless chores, like trimming trees down to the roots, or clearing brush and burning it from an area that we don’t even pasture, or pulling weeds from the sidewalk edges. Go figure!

On to the next chapter in my life. I need to get back to horses. To riding more. To teaching more. To training more. It’s almost such a pull from an indefinable source that it’s hard to explain. The desire is there again. That’s all I can say. I need to go where my heart is leading me.

I may have found what I am searching for with Centered Riding. The discipline has brought everything that I have learned and what I have taught into one simple topic. Work more on the rider than the horse. I should have studied under Sally Swift. I think I would have loved her! Enjoy the Journey! The horse already understands this, and it was made so clear to me on the 2nd say of my Level 1 Instructors Course. My horse, Finny, rode so beautifully. No resistance. Ears perked. Loving each moment.

Competitive Trail Riding brought the spark of competition back to my life. I have truly love trail riding since my early youth years of riding the Pennsylvania hills of the Appalachian Mountains. Recently, I raised a talented Quarter Horse gelding and competed 2 years of CTR’s with him. On my last CTR, he colicked, and later that day, I made the heart wrenching decision to put him down. And part of my heart died also. Two months have passed, and writing that statement still brings me to tears and makes me sad. How do you ever get past this moment? Some days, it tears me up inside.

Then the grandbabies came. And they tug at my heart. What a feeling. It is so different than when I had my own babies. I swell with such an intense feeling when they look at me and smile. I just want to squeeze them forever. I want to give them their first horse. I want to make their dreams happen. I want to be part of their lives forever.

I’ve decided to close or sell the tack store. I sold tack out of my training facility for a year and a half. I moved to Lincoln and sold tack, feed, home décor, etc for 3 ½ years. And now, it’s time to get back to horses. I can’t sit inside any longer. I can’t let a sunny afternoon pass me by as I sit inside. I know there are horses I can help. I know there are people who would love my help.

I have always loved taking pictures. Tom reminded me yesterday that I talked about taking pictures as a kid, and how excited I was when my parents bought me a Yashica 35 mm camera for my college graduation gift. I was thrilled. I took a lot of pictures and had the camera repaired twice. Tom says that I wore it out. I am loving the digital world. I can take as many pictures as I want to. I delete and I save. I save more than I delete, even if they are not the best pictures. They are a memory to me. I realized that maybe photography could be part of my life now. Maybe my life with horses. Maybe part of my healing since Finny died. I have taken a lot of pictures the last 3 months.

I am at my grandaughter‘s, Makenzie, first birthday. This weekend is so special. She is my first grandchild. I love her to pieces. She reminds me of what is important in life. I am taking many pictures. I am already dreading Monday morning when I have to leave. Tomorrow is such a special day for her. For me. And I am going to cherish it forever.

Forever. How is that possible when things aren’t forever? But forever is in my heart! I need to listen to my heart. I know that when the right horse comes, I will feel it in my heart. I know that what I am meant to be and meant to do will be felt within my heart. And I know that my grandchildren have a very special place in my heart, and nothing will ever replace that feeling.

I am enjoying this feeling. And I will ride and train and talk about horses when the weather warms! Come along on the journey with me!