I’m reading a book by Nora Roberts, “Finding the Dream”. The main character is Laura, a divorcee at the age of 28, with 2 young daughters. Alone now, because she caught her husband in bed with another woman. What a swine! Why not just get out of the marriage and leave her if he can’t stay loyal? Not only did he cheat on her, he took all the money and left nothing for the woman, who had adored and loved him with her whole heart, or for the 2 little girls, who he never really loved. He won’t even go to the father-daughter time at school with the 10 year old.
Now Laura has turned 30 and she is still getting over the self-doubting of her abilities. She gave up a lot of her life, a life filled with privilege and wealth, for this man. We know why he wanted to marry her! Now she is rebuilding her life. Laura’s family, along with her 2 best friends, made her take her birthday off, and then gave her a wonderful birthday dinner. During the day, she reflected back on the previous 2 years and came to the conclusion that she has started to rebuild her life, and without financial help from her family. Even though there is a family business, she is in partnership on another business with her 2 friends. She is taking care of the home she was raised in, loving the gardens, and bestowing love on her 2 daughters, who she adores. She is finally getting back to doing what she enjoys, gardening, having pets for her girls, and horseback riding lessons.
As she thought about her life, she went through moments of dread, going into the next decade. (don’t we all?) She was reminded of all that is good in her life. (Don’t we all need to set back and remind ourselves?) She was taking stock on her life!
I like that. Better yet, I like that wording. Taking stock! My first thought, was of course, animals. Cattle and Horses. How do you take stock of your life? Your possessions? What you have accomplished? What you enjoy doing?
Laura reevaluated her life. Her marriage was over, but not her life. The bitterness is leaving. In it’s place comes acceptance and the ability to move on. This sounds like what I’ve been feeling since losing Finny. I guess lose, in any form, is lose. Sadness, bitterness, acceptance. Moving through the emotions to moving on with life. But this wasn’t the intended purpose of this writing today, but I guess that is where my mind moved to, sometimes, and sometimes always, on to Finny. Today is about moving on and finding that dream.
Laura sat down and let nature surround her. Maybe that is what we need to do. Sit quietly. Sit somewhere where you can think and be yourself. In the fields. Out on the prairie (not me, but many of my friends here in Nebraska love the open prairie). In the woods. In the barn. Among the horses. (I’m sure my friend Tammy goes to her horse trailer a lot!) I personally love the country life, and I love having trees around me. I love riding a forest trail!!!
You can handle anything that you set yourself and your mind to handle. Quit doubting, quit moping, and quit doing nothing. Or should I say, start realizing you can do anything you want to do, anything you set your mind to do, and anything is possible. Put the positive on your way of thinking.
And the emptiness and loneliness with leave. Your life will be too busy to think about self doubt and whether or not you have the ability to do what you want to do. Busy-ness makes for tired bodies. And the ability to sleep better. And being busy builds up muscle and stamina and strength. I believe this can be both physical and mental. When we get our sleep, and eat well, and that has to be nutritionally well, we feel better. When we accomplish something, even the tiniest thing, we feel better. This still wasn’t what I was going to talk about today. Geez, I do get sidetracked.
I was going to talk about how to Find the Dream. I guess I’ll have to leave that for tomorrow. After I read more of the book. And maybe my mind won’t drift so much. But I don’t mind the drifting, as it helps me to sort out my thoughts.
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