When a Friend Hurts Because They Lost a Horse

This is an email that I just sent to a friend, because she lost a special horse:

I just read on HT's that you are having a hard time and I am so, so sorry for your sorrow. Right now, tears are streaming down my face as I think about how much your heart hurts, and as I think about Finny.  All I can say is that you will hurt for a long time, so cry as often as you can.

You will hurt for a long time and I think everyone needs something different to get over this hurt. I can't get over all the pain, and every time I think about this, my chest tightens, and there is a big lump in my throat, and my eyes water or there are tears. Finny is gone over 2 years now. And it hurts. Very much.

And it's ok to hurt, and to cry. And only you will know when it's time to say...   I need to get over this and move on. Pets die. Horses die. People die. We all know this. But we hurt so much when we lose those special ones. I've just now told myself to move on and get a horse who will make me happy. I've just started looking at the rest of my own horses differently, as they do make me smile now.

I think I'll always be sad because Finny died. And now tears are really streaming down my face. My heart hurts so much because he is gone. I know how much your heart hurts. and I'm so, so sorry that you have to go through this pain.

But God gives us these special horses for a reason, and then he takes them home to be in his special stable. I'm praying that the angels are riding Finny and Red and Ginger, and all the others who have gone before them, and are enjoying them very much.

Maybe a little girl is up in Heaven, with that special horse that she has always wanted. And now I'm smiling, and my heart doesn't hurt. I'm smiling as I see Finny loping across those heavenly clouds with a little girl on his back, and she is laughing. Maybe you can have a special thought of Red in Heaven with a new special owner.

Please call if you ever need to. Many of us understand. We will all go through this because there are many of us with a special horse who have left us. 

Now as I think more about this, this is what has helped me to get over Finny:

Maybe what I am going through will help someone else.  God has put this hurt in my heart and soul for a reason, and I pray that I can help someone else.  Why else would we hurt so much?

There are many of us that hurt like this when we lose our special horse.  That really hasn't helped me to get over the pain, just to realize that many others understand the pain.

God wouldn't want me have this sorrow forever and to not share my love of horses and of riding by not riding.  And by not being excited about horses.  This is what is helping me the most.  God would want me to move on and to keep my love of horses alive.

The movie, The Christmas Hope, is on and it's about a mother and father who lost their son 2 years ago (in the movie). The Grandmother just told the mother that she can choose joy or despair, and to choose joy.  Maybe that is what I am going through, and everyone else who has lost a horse.  We need to choose how we feel.  And all at once, I don't feel sad, and I don't have tears, and all I'm hearing on the tv is to have joy.

There are many angels around us.  God speaks to us in so many different ways.  It's been 2 years since hubby and I have gone to church regularly (and not because of Finny).  We have a deep belief.  Today we went to church.  And now God is speaking to me through this friend and through this movie.

All I know is it is time to move on, to choose to love horses, to choose to ride, to choose to help others learn.  That is what I need to do.  I think Finny would want me to keep riding, even if it isn't him.  He would want me to continue where we ended.

I had the thought the other day that I will continue what Finny and I were doing, and take that training and move on to the next young horses.  I will work with other horses with what I've learned from riding Finny, but more importantly, what Finny has taught me.

God is with us and guiding us through our sorrow.  He will show us the way out and the way to happiness, to contentment, and to peace.

May the spirit of the Christmas Season be with you ... forever.